I am lost and I need to find myself
As I inhale toxic fumes of anger
Pain and suffering eulogise my dreams
I am lost and I can’t find myself.
Fare the well, I say to the cruel world
That plagues my life and tortures my soul.
I am lost and I want to find myself
In death.

Silence

Listen to the beat.
Listen to the pitch notes.
Listen to the screams of dreams
lost in the abyss of your thoughts.
Listening taught by monks whom you have long sought
to teach you the mastery in the art of meditation.

Lying on this mat you start to unfold
the narrow morrows in your sorrows.
So you follow blindly
yet ask kindly, why your present
is not a gift of the future?
Why your questions are answered by still features
of your bliss
Then you think bleakness is not ignorance?

Listen to these echoes
Listen to those reverberations of songs of the tale
Pay attention to those times when the storyteller paused.
Looked at the fire and pondered as your minds slowly wandered into limbo.
Do try and recall what was happening
while your minds pondered on
in search of answers beneath the silence.
But ignorance made you blind! Didn’t it? Blind to the true purpose
of that silence.

Fools of those who think less of silence
Since they offered you, one of the world’s most
misused gifts.
Silence.
He let you be silent and for that one split moment in your life, you could actually see life for what it truly is.
For what is meant is sometimes what is not said.
And the solutions to life are stuck in the same silence in your head.

So what am I saying?
Be silent and listen
Be silent for once and appreciate the
beauty in the beats, the beauty in the notes and still sounds of silence.
And maybe then you will realize that all this
time in this poem you have used your brain
To understand why silence is gold.

Hi.
Pardon my intrusion.
I noticed your linger from across the room.
I noticed your blush edging out the smoothness of your face.
My eyes could not peel away from wet shine of your lips.
I noticed the subtle shudder of your legs as you rubbed your thighs together,
I believe it was to sooth some pain?

So let me be plain and please sweet damsel don’t refrain
So I come to air my concern and offer my help.
You don’t know me but I want know you.
But let me guess
Aren’t you a damsel in distress that is looking for an address
Where one can bring calm to your distress?
I come to discover the deepest, naughtiest,
Twisted thoughts of your mind
So that I can unfold them into realities.
So allow my offer to end the pain and calm the storm
And you only need to do as I say.

So step into my dark corner office so that we can negotiate terms and conditions
And let’s come to a climax of sweaty conclusions only we can feel.
I am here disguised as your muse
but I am not here to defuse that burning flame of desire in you
rather I am here to ignite more blaze.
To whisper sweet nothings in your ear that will put you into a…phase.
So sweet honeypot
I want you to open where it hurts the most
and let me suck out your sorrows so that you can have better tomorrows.
Then bow your knees and let me feel you get lost in a rhythmic trance.
Its only then that I will think of emptying my gun into your chamber of secrets
just to put an end to the cause of your pain.
I come to bring an end to the distress putting you under duress
So let me undress, I beg your pardon, let me address this wetness by exercising my fitness
to solve a mess that I must confess is my forte.

I cannot apologize for my speech for I speak in ramps and humps
While my mind hopes your inner skin has no bumps…
Oh my! Where are my manners
Allow me introduce myself the best way I know how.
I am termed by many as a fuck boy but I prefer a dealer in pleasure
Why, because I deal in orgasmic applications.
I prefer to be called an orchestrator of sweet moans
Because I orchestrate harmonious screams with pitchy notes.
I am a sweet talker in your ear, an inspirational speaker
for I inspire the right amount of desire
that will wet you with lust.

I am a trend that tends to never end
Yeah I know I am hard, I beg your pardon, I mean it’s hard…
Sorry it gets hard…it’s difficult to resist me.
You know I am an embodiment of your naughtiest cravings.

I am a dare devil seeking to devour beauties’ deliciously distressed damsels looking to drain their dripping urge of the dark lusty desires that dangerously linger deep in their minds.
However I do not seek to deactivate or destroy this randy sensations but rather to divulge them. To dig deeply into their core and drink from their never drying wells.
Verily this daunting talk of relishing desire is most verbose.

So let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you
And you may call me D.

In the dark of my thoughts,
tortued by forsaken demons of rejection.
Forcing me to move on
to realise the unchangeable past and embrace a lonesome future
Yet I can still hear the fading notes of your voice.
And the whisper of treasured memories echoed in my mind.
They said our crossed stars were faulted.

Fate would have it that our love
would meet us half way then part ways from us.
It left my rythmic heart beating in broken symphony.
Grieving in sad melody about our lost spark.

Engulfed by your condescending voice, softly
with inked rejective words inscribed on your built walls between us.
You said to me.

That I should not seek you to mend my broken heart
For your rib caged sheathed affection sees not an equal
in my shattered rejected regretful heart to match its compassion.
You told me to pick up my fallen pieces and move on.

Mwesigwa Diego

I was told that I have to be direct so I was directed to my rejection.

I was told to be honest and honesty showed me to the exit like the truth could never fix it.

‘My opinion should be heard,’ they said but the response was society’s ridicule like I was the fool in a Shakespearean play on life.

I was told kindness is virtue but all I got were squatters in my life until I had nothing left to give and so they left.

I was told to prove my loyalty but never given time or a chance to show it.

I was told to open my heart wide but the piece I had left was too small a target for Cupid to hit.

I decided to be better but my better was not better enough for those who wanted me to better so I remained good.

They said I shall find the one but I could only see her in those that were taken.

‘Approach and try your luck,’ they said. Funny how inexistent luck can be when you are being denied in emoji 🤔 🙅.

I was told I am sweet for caring and nice for being chivalrous but I always ended up alone wondering if being good just ain’t attractive anymore.

I became confident and acted like a jerk. They said I should grow up and that no one likes assholes but I thought, ‘At least they can see me now.’

So self-love is encouraged but when its all you love you will not be loved.

I decided to be me but still I was not enough because society comforted me with the hate cards for trying to be better than it.

I was told to love unconditionally but how can I when I am so busy trying to be enough.

So I just fucked up everything and set sail into the abyss of my demise like a pirate on a quest for the treasure of self fulfillment.

So I just fucked up everything so badly that my fuck up makes no sense to fuck ups like me.

What the fuck did I get wrong in trying to be me?

Diego

(If you can relate please share)

I sat under a green dome as
the breeze rippled through its dense form.
I gazed up at the floating cotton
and made out shapes of grey fortune.
Fortune hanging on a silver lining,
Fishing in the deep blue ocean,
Hoping to catch shooting stars
like as though they were as many as airplanes.
I too, once, wanted to make a wish.

I watched nature pair to suit creation.
Bees addicted to nectar gently waking
attractive flowers to beautify the vegetation.
Birds song carried in the wind to harmonise the atmosphere.
But I at most feared the cold of rejection.

Izabelle, your were like the lamp of heaven.
I am nostalgic of your warming humming
in the dark corridors of my lonesome thought
that you lit up with hope of a better tomorrow.

I am saddened by the voice of your choice
but just like the world remorselessly moves in one direction
I too must move on with the thought
that my life is no more fiction than reality.
Yet with hope that I will deservedly
have my own shooting star to wish on
for my Even-geline.

Mwesigwa Diego

This treacherous pulse deafens me
My mind hammering on my scalp
Searching for a way to cause me more ache
Under the covers of my hair
Lie mounds like scales on my skin

My bones quake at the touch of the wind
A chatter in my mouth forms beats in my speech.I’m
A clutch in my heart
An itch in my chest
A wage in my soul

Tasteless pills stuffed in my throat.
Lump and pumps in my chest.
Cold sweat, drips down my breast.
Twitching nerves thirsting for touch.
Weakened bones slumped on my flesh. Lonesome thoughts deep in a quest,
Searching for remedy to the tragedy.
Is this lust or is my heart under arrest?

A pulse creeps in my veins
Pumping this feeling into my flesh.
Deep in the wells of my mind
A voice, this voice; masculine and strong.
Hugs my thoughts. This scent mmmh
Softens my brain, widens my smile and
inhaled in my lungs
it feels through my chest and keeps me alive.

I have been tripped, tackled and startled by his gaze.
Oh my heart beats for his embrace.
I was mistaken to think love has no grace.
But now I must chase for his love or else
I will be left all alone like Calypso;
Hoping on a long wait for love for eternity.

Diego Mwesigwa aka Dark Knight